Vamp Chat
by han8661
Summary: Me and my friend were bored so we put the characters from twilight into a chat room and let the plot bunny run wild. Here is the result.
1. Chapter 1

This happens after breaking dawn

* * *

Alice = AliCullen14

Edward = Mindreaderguy

Bella = Newborngal

Jacob = Alpha8

Seth = Sethwolf12

Embry = Embryrocks

Quil = MEACE

Leah = randomdudet

* * *

AliCullen14 has joined chat room vampchat

AliCullen14: Heya guys! What you up to?

Mindreaderguy: Do you really want to know?

AliCullen14: ………..

Newborngal: Haven't you seen it already

AliCullen14: NO!! You know I haven't!! you've got that stupid were-wolf round!!

Mindreaderguy: ……

Newborngal: ……

Alpha8: OI! I'm not stupid!!

AliCullen14: how did you get in here?! Vampire chat room? Vampire password?!

Newborngal: ummm…………

AliCullen14: BELLA! &%*$#!!!!!!!!

Newborngal: what? He forced it out of me!

Alpha8: DID NOT! Liar! Back me up Edward!

Mindreaderguy: Sorry can't see her mind.

Sethwolf12: heya dudes and dudets what ya talking about?

AliCullen: How many people did you tell…..

Alpha8: What?! It's a pack thing, you know, the whole connected mind thing.

Embryrocks: Hi!

MEACE: Hi!

Randomdudet: Hi!

AliCullen14 : ……………………………………………..

……………………………………………..

……………………………………………..

Newborngal: Are you having a vision Alice?

AliCullen14: yes Killing Jacob, then possibly you.

Newborngal: Jacob?

Alpha8: Yes Bell?

Newborngal: I think it would be in the interests of our health now if we left, then ran, very far away, very fast. Now.

Newborngal has left Vamp Chat

Alpha8 has left Vamp Chat

AliCullen14 has left Vamp Chat

Mindreaderguy: did I say something?

AliCullen14 has entered Vamp Chat

AliCullen14: hang on just how long have you been in here? And if we didn't know you were here, just how many other people are here?……..

Randomguy1: Quick! We've been rumbled! Run for it!

Randomguys 1 – 100 have left the chat room

Randomguy101: Was I supposed to do something

Randomguy102: Yes! Leave!

Randomguy101 has left Vamp Chat

Randomguy102: He's impossible…..

Randomguy102 has left Vamp Chat

Mindreaderguy: so THAT'S why your not supposed to post your password on the internet.

AliCullen14: Vision changed, I'm going to kill Jacob, then Bella, then YOU!

Mindreaderguy has left Vamp Chat, quickly.

AliCullen14 has left Vamp Chat

MEACE: So….. what you wanna do?

Emberyrocks: go for a run?

MEACE: ok.

Emberyrocks has left Vamp Chat

MEACE has left Vamp Chat


	2. wolf chat

Alice = AliCullen14

Edward = Mindreaderguy

Bella = Newborngal

Jacob = Alpha8

Seth = Sethwolf12

Embry = Embryrocks

Quil = MEACE

Leah = randomdudet

Emmet = Strongdude99

Jasper = Inpain-u_r.

AliCullen14 has entered Wolf Chat

Sethwolf12: Finished killing those three yet?

AliCullen: No, I couldn't find them *_stupid dog blocking my visions…_*

Sethwolf12: Oi! I read that, you know.

Inpain-u_r: How did you see yourself killing Jacob? Doesn't work on dogs…

AliCullen14: How do you know I was gonna kill Jacob?

Inpain-u_r: he told me.

AliCullen14: You saw him? Please please pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease tell me where he is, PLEEEEEASE!!!

Sethwolf12: Answer the question… *_obsessed murderous leech*_

AliCullen14:I couldn't see what I was doing before I killed Bella. I assumed I was killing Jacob. And did you just call me an obsessed murderous leech?

Sethwolf12: errr… no, why would I call my best friend that?

AliCullen14: I'm your best friend?

Sethwolf12: If it stops you killing me…

AliCullen14: you have 3 seconds.

1

2

3.

Right dog.

Sethwolf12 has left Wolf Chat

AliCullen has left Wolf Chat.

Strongdude99: Yay. DIE PEEPS!!!

Strongdude 99 has left Wolf Chat.

Inpain-u_r: I'm all alone… was it something I said?

Embryrocks: Hi Jasper!

Randomdudet: ugh, vampire in OUR chatroom. *_shudders_*

MEACE: JASPER!!!!!!!!! Wait… how did I get here? HE'S A LEECH! HOW COULD YOU QUIL?!!!

Inpain-u_r has left Wolf Chat.


	3. chat room madness

Alice = AliCullen14

Edward = Mindreaderguy

Bella = Newborngal

Jacob = Alpha8

Seth = Sethwolf12

Embry = Embryrocks

Quil = MEACE

Leah = randomdudet

Emmet = Strongdude99

Jasper = Inpain-u_r.

Renesmee = My_virgin_ears

Strongdude99: I made, like, the most awesomest save in the history of vamp v wolf football! I totally ROCK!

Alpha8: That was a total fluke – you tripped and the ball bounced off your ass! Now my goal was the most extraordinary-est thing on this planet. If it weren't for Edwards awesome speed you vamps would be sucking my …

Mindreaderguy: all hail the mighty, the amazing, mind reading, speediest vamp of all time … the God, Edward Cullen!!!

Inpain-u_r: HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Newborngal: to deflate your seriously inflated head, dear, you saved that one by accident.

Mindreader guy: hasn't Alice killed you yet?

Newborngal: nope. I beat her at monopoly – we're off the hook now. Come on, I hear the bed calling us to the land of sex…

Newborngal has left the chat room

Mindreaderguy has left the chat room

My_virgin_ears: eugh noooooooooooo, myvirginears. I CAN HEAR EXTREME SEX! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! HELP MEE – whats up Jasper?

Inpain-u_r: Sucking balls…God Edward… myvirginears…extreme sex…

Inpain-u_r has left the chatroom

AliCullen14: why is Jasper currently curled up in the foetal position muttering about Edward and extreme sex?

My_virgin_ears: u don't wanna know, aunty al. u don't wanna know…

AliCullen14: too late. Already seen it. Eugh, enjoy ur night at Jacobs. I might persuade Jasper to imitate Edward…

My_virgin_ears: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! There corrupting my virgin mind. EXTREME SEX!!!

All have left the chatroom.


End file.
